Why Learning to Say ‘No’ is Important than ‘Yes’

To fight with the inner resistance everyday is difficult. This resistance takes the form of procrastination and excuses.  They challenge me everyday, my integrity feels threatened in such moments. Like you, I too then, delay my decisions. I too juggle with priority sequence of my project and assignments.

There are some decisions which are easier to take, but some, on the other are difficult to follow.  I have learnt from the masters and my mentors that the art of saying ‘No’ is something that we must master. I have been a ‘yes’ lady all these years of my life. Others happiness and priority becomes my priority as well.  The priority is still happiness of others, but my perception of what gives them happiness has changed. For better or for worst, this I don’t know. It has changed, that is for sure.

Over the years, through experiences,  I learnt,  that simply saying ‘yes’ would not bring the result and changes that I want in my life.  Changes that are important for happiness of others, for myself, for my family, for my health, for my career and for my growth.

When my ‘yes’ posed some of the biggest and some of the most difficult challenges to me, I felt miserable. I felt weaker at times. And then came the decision. Decision to work on this art of saying ‘no’ with grace.

Believe me, it took me a lot of time, a lot of time to learn to say ‘No’. I am learning this art of saying no, with the reasons. Reason, so that I can focus on the things that are important for me in life. Life is too short and fugitive. If I remain busy in doing what others want me to do, when would I get time to do what I must do?

Somehow, my entire perception of the word ‘No’ changed when I delved deeper into the very cause and reason of understanding why should I go ahead with a ‘No’ and not a ‘Yes’. Unfortunate as it, ‘No’ has been showed to us as the opponent of ‘Yes’.  But it is not the case. When I say ‘Yes’, there are so many things to which I say ‘No’. So, I become conscious of saying ‘No’ so that I can say ‘Yes’ to so many others things and people that I must be with. This ‘No’ has other positive connotations and meaning, which somehow, we have missed to look at. I am in the process of being with this ‘No’ for sometime so that I can be a better ‘Yes’ lady again.

Learning to say ‘no’ gracefully to projects, assignments, people and places, where a better option than you is available, brings freedom.

Learn to say ‘no’ so that you become more conscious of taking your decisions. Learn to say ‘no’ so that you establish your credibility for the things that matter. Learn to say ‘no’ so that you say ‘yes’ to all those things in your life that are important and those matter.

A ‘No’ provides us more time to focus on the things that are important. A ‘No’ pushes us to ask better questions so that we are not driven in a compulsive order state and simply say ‘yes’ because we want to please others. By saying ‘no’ to things, we could feel more liberated and better and could avoid the state of constant internal struggle.

I am learning this art. Refining my skills. Trying to know science behind this art.

I know it would take me some time to master this art, but once learnt, I know what liberation, peace, happiness and satisfaction it would bring in my life!

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